Today marks the end of year 2004

Yes, today is the last day of another year. The saddest news was that our neighbouring countries were all hit by a ritcher 8.9 earthquake and a killer tsunami.

Watching the sights of the aftermath of the tsunami had really been sad, seeing and imaging everything, everyone washed away, bodies floating around, kins trying to acknowledge their family's member bodies...

Fortunate ones escaped or being rescued, otherwise, this will be a dreadful memory for them in the year of 2004.

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For me, I hoped my grandmother recovered swiftly towards the year 2005.
She had been better since she was discharged just recently.

And yes, I'm going to start my industrial attachment the coming monday. I went to buy a few clothes for working too. (look like secret triads personnel in shirt and long pants...lol)
I hope my supervisor don't find me too beng, and I can get along with him (so as to bribe him for my report).
Otherwise, if all things don't work, I will show him what I could do.

Yes, no countdown for me. I hate countdowns. Singaporeans like it and embrace it so much that it seems more and more no life to me. We start counting down to the arrival of almost any big events. And the second most irritating thing is charity shows seem more like a promotional show for all the actors and actresses to promote their popularity... though they performed life risking tasks, it's getting more than disgusting just for it. (I don't wish to explain it, simply "It sucks")

So what do I do to be more meaningful before the year end?
Yes, I'm typing this blog first of all to make sure it end before reaching 12am.
Since I had my duties to take care of my granny in the next morning, I can't meet up with my friends tonight too. I won't say I would be doing meaningful stuffs.
I probably would scan through the memories of year 2004 before forgetting them. A self reflection on what I did and when did I find myself happy, sad, angry, hardworking, determined, silly, stupid, blur, lost, helpful, misinterpreted, lame, talkative etc.. hehe

Alright it's 11.51pm left nine minutes for my scanning. Got to catch my memory train!
zhaoru.

Awaiting Jan 3rd

Yes, the beginning of a new semester in my year 3, aka Industrial Attachment.

It seems to be a continuation of a break from studying after a hectic semester of mugging.
But what more could I ask for, I really wish that I can be saved from writing those rubbish report for my I.A. , it is really too troublesome.

Yes, I don't really like to whine a lot, but this time I must say this:
These papers are load of rubbish, written for show, sometimes I really wondered how much they are going to be referring to our report to grade us in our IA, and are we going to really learn that much according to what they need us to write in our report.
Are we really going to be working so closely to our supervisor, or are they just going to throw some projects at us and say :" Go find out yourself and complete it by......" OR are we going to see them thrice only during our 6months there only for the grading periodical checks.

In main, I see that this might turn out to be a waste of time. Hopefully, it's not.
Well, some people told a different story, each told their own stories.
We heard them, we might not believe in them, we think it might be true, we feel it might not be so. Whatever, the golden RULE still applies above all as in SAF:

DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST DON'T GET CAUGHT!

Alright, so this is the truth and nothing but the truth, who would need those books which explain success in logic and differentiate everything systematically that readers find truth in it. Well, I would say it's just common sense to be used and nothing but common sense.

I hope the last thing I lack is common sense,
Zhaoru.

Recovered!

Yesterday, my grandma was hospitalised.
She was attacked by asthma after having a prolonged cough.
The doctor wanted her to be warded as she was too short of breath and feeling weak.

As monday was a working day, I stayed back at her ward room to look after her.
She was given hourly medicine treatment by air mask, and tablets.
Till evening when my family members arrived, she was a bit better.

Today, I went to visit her at gleneagles (nearly lost my way) . She was looking much more better. She could speak better now, and would like to move by herself, which we strongly persuade her to call for a nurse to assist her to the toilet room.
I got to see some of my uncles and their families ^^.

And yes, my cousins were all growing taller, which reminds me that I'm older T___T
Anyway, that's besides the point, the main thing is my grandmother might probably be discharged by tomorrow which is a great news for all of us.
But she was urgently trying to get ready to be discharged, so we hoped she can rest more and recover completely than hurrying to get out of the hospital.

Thanks for all the concern from my friends,
Zhaoru.

Happy Sunday.

Well as usual there is a soccer match for us (my friends and I) today --- every Sunday morning.

I arrived at the pitch with a "somewhat felt like sprained left foot", and during the early warm up and practice session, my shots were somehow horrible.

The match began, and I was playing the role of midfielder for my team. From my experience, being a midfielder is the hardest position of all, it requires much more stamina to run up forth and back for offence and defence. It is a position which controls the posession of the team, sets up play and need a lot of reading of the game.

Frankly, I was not up to it. I was too used of being a out and out striker such that I drifted forward much too easily. And while my team was under counter-attacked, there was no one to replace my post temporarily, I had to make my recovery as soon as possible.
Our team went down trailing two goals early. Then we stepped up our gear and had a corner.
After the corner was taken, it took a few rally of headers for the ball to find me. The ball and a defender was on it's way towards me, I immediately jumped and thumped in a header into the back of the net. 1-2.

However, this did not change my team's fate when we thought we could fight back. We went down 1-4 by first half. Frankly, our keeper do lack the experience of goalkeeping.

Before commencing the second half, I made it clear to myself that I'm not going forward for attacking, I will be faithful to my defensive duties in the team.

I kept myself at the mid-line, and when the opponent attempts a counter attack, I would be the one stopping them hard, even though it meant to commit a foul on them. I took the job of a defensive midfield then.

In the second half, I was able to read more of the flow of the game. And I prioritised my tasks, Stop and disrupt opposition play, hold up ball and play short safe passing, attempt throughball if presented a chance, run up for corner, commit to offence as last.

I was doing all I could and should be done, surprisingly, my friends felt I played very well in fact. They commented that I was winning the ball and putting them back to possession safely.
While the scoreline was absolutely demoralising at 2-6, there was a chance from the right flank, I ran up shouting for the ball, my winger cuts it back to me, immediately I trapped the ball towards my right side, I found myself some space and took a look at goal, then I swung a shot for goal.

The flight of the ball went up and high, I thought it was going too high, then it dips and curls towards the top left corner of goal, the goalkeeper sidestepped himself only to jump in desperation attempting to stop the shot. The ball hit the upright and went into the back of the match. I was delighted. 3-6. The match ended.

So my team lost, but why I was happy?
My friends think that I played very well today, rated me 10/10 ^___^V
and they said I was awarded the "man of the match", of course, there was no such award.
But it's a way that we compliment each other if one deserves it.

I was also happy because my legs sustained the whole game, while all the running and tackling was done. I felt the joy of enjoying playing the whole game without much trouble.

After the match, my good friend Peng said," Joo, you were running slowly, and yet you could keep the ball in your possession without much difficulty even though an opponent is trying to get the ball from you."

These words echoed deeply into my head, because as I had said I wasn't a player with that much technical skills. And I was able to get myself out of trouble, seemingly without much difficulties. My friends recognised my strength at play and making full use of my size to screen out players.

It was my best day being a midfielder today, and I think I'm going to be settled into a defensive midfield role soon than carry on being a striker.
I was also told to attain the ability to spread play and then "I would be complete".

I will continue to keep this up,
zhaoru

Completion. TA da!~

completed.

Hehe, and there, the final picture. It's my first time attempting a different medium, water colour. I feel that my water coloring technique is still not there, cant control the light and dark shaded places well. Hopefully I can improve on it!

clearing up and after touched up. 

Process 1

a quick work

Haha, finally relieved of all duties, it's time for my leisure past time-- drawing.

Well, I really like it when I open a book which show how the progress of each state of a picture undergoes and become the final work. So I will use this sketch and show one here. ^____^

Notice that the skeletal drawings are still visible, it is a draft. Skeletal drawn in blue lead, while the exterior using a black 2B lead. By right, if I use a photocopying machine to have this copied, the blue lines will not appeared visible, however, this is a scanned copy. =p

to be continued...
zhaoru

It's Christmas Eve!

Well, since primary school, I have ever stepped into a church again.
Though I'm not a Christian, I am keen at singing the songs they had in church session.
I'd always enjoyed singing during every church session at my primary school.

Today, at Christmas eve, I decided to go with my friend to her church to join in the singing session. Well, we sang carols and they were all melodious and nice. I will say I love it hehe!

Wish to join in the singing session again!
Zhaoru

Look! Philip know snake fist and I felt the ants crawling up my foot! 

My passion for FOOTBALL

YES, I love FOOTBALL!
Nope, it's not American football, it's SOCCER!

I really enjoy playing it, tiring myself out, Striving for every chances,
Standing my ground defending for the team, Tackling opponents to win the ball back,
Chasing after wingers to stop their cross, Shooting at goal at chances.

No doubt, I see myself still playing football at weekends for the next few years!
And really I hoped it still isn't too old a game for a 40 yr old man. haha
Well, my friend, Ah Peng, is a regular service man, though he does not like the work there in the SAF, but perhaps the greatest consolence is that he can play football with his squad at weekends. (I joined them) So, look on the bright side man, it isn't that bad, is it.

Sometimes, you just have to watch a game or two soccer matches from TV, and try to appreciate their slightest touches, reactions, physical play and team work.

I'm not a very much skilful player, being so, I played as centre-back, defensive-mid, or striker.
Ah Peng said I play the game very much to my strength, and I really appreciated it, not much compliments can delight me as much from those spoken from someone I admired in soccer.
Being about 6-foot tall, and about 80kg, my height and build allow me to shield off challenges, and threatens in the air, together with my work rate and pace.

The only draw back I have and would have is that my thigh muscles can never sustained itself after a half, I needed a lot of muscle rub to keep it going for the second half, if not, when it cramps, you can treat me as a paralysed guy for at least two hours.

This issue is often been brought up by my parent who disallowed me for vigorious exercise, so as they said. Yes, I had been a worry for them for this, I know, and I wish I wasn't.
I insist on playing despite facing the threat of a deadly cramp, maybe football is really a "macho" game, it attracts people like me, playing to win and win to play.

Even when my team lost, as long as I had done my best, it doesn't really made me feel that sad.
I'm still trying to improve my play at soccer. I'm not trying to be like someone, it's my passion and it's burning everytime I stepped into the field.

"Ready for the game?"
Zhaoru.

Tarot tarot!

For the first time in my life I see tarot cards!
Well, bigger in size than poker cards, with 52 (i think) different illustrated cards, it really seems very interesting to me.
I like the arts on it too. (the pictures)

My friend did a fortune telling with it for me, regarding my fortune next year, my love life, and my IA (work life).
Well, it was told that I'm gonna face something big next year, my love has yet to come, and I will be adapting to my work fast.

Seriously, it is quite true about my present and past, as for the future, I will see things as it comes.

I still believe in my own power,
zhaoru.

Worry for me...

Since young, I have not been able to achieve what my sister had set as a yardstick in study.
My mum and dad were illiterate, and I know very well that they pinned their hopes on us, but they couldn't help.

So my fifth uncle and my aunt were the only ones teaching my sister andI as well as my little brother, preparing us for primary school.
My sister had always been a well-disciplined, obedient and hardworking girl.
On the contrary, my brother and I had always been playing and quarreling among each other. ^^

Our results certainly don't appeal to my family very much. However, they didn't grumble on me nor did they reprimand me. I was told to follow everyone else to the next level of study, and that will be enough to delight my parent.

I'm glad my parent did not really pressure us on our studies, my uncle had also been an encouraging force trying to make studying seems more interesting to me. I will never forget how he taught me writing my first three chinese characters - my name.

When I began to realise that I am the elder brother of all my little cousins in the family, I suddenly felt some pressure on my shoulders. I was told to lead and set an example for them.
Basically, I baby- sitted all my little cousins when they were babies. I learnt to look after them, protect them and of course most importantly, put them to sleep with some teochew lullabies ^__^, one of them I remembered faintly starts like this: " Ong ah ong, ong gin gon, gin gon dua, ....."

As I get older, I began to understand things more. After my grandfather had passed away, I felt very sad, but a strength was growing within me- determination.
Without natural born intelligence, or hardworking-ness, I am determined to show my parent and my family that I can be worthy of their love, and not just being the eldest son. I shall be the first one to pass through all barriers in life, leading the way for the rest in the family.

One of the greatest relief for my family is that I have also made my way to the university as my sister had. I can still see that my family is concerned about my work in study, but they did not bring it up often when they get to see me for dinner. I guessed they really did not want to give me unnecessary pressure.

They know that I'm playful by nature, and being complacent will really cast me down the drain.
They are afraid when I tell them "I AM TIAN CAI, WAHAHAHA!"
Well, that was a joke I would always say in order to assure them in my study and also to lighten up the atmosphere.

So far, my grades have been so-so, but this semester, I made a promise to myself after a disasterous second year results, and also promised my grandmother that I will be studying hard this time to let her see good results.

And today is the day, my results were out. I'm glad all my efforts and focus I'd put in this semester of work had not been in vain. I had fulfilled my promise to myself as well as to my grandmother. She is delighted upon hearing my results and my aunt told me she is very happy and smiling the whole evening.


I hope my grandmother will always be happy!
zhaoru.

Dark grey sky

The clouds turn grey upon the sky,
As I watch it hides the sun behind,

Little droplets fall like showering stars,
Ripples spread across the land,

Walk through the rain and feel its weight,
As it synchronise with my heart beat,

Wash away the tears as I cry my heart out,
Whisper words that was never said out,

Brace myself for the storms to come,
And soon will see the light from the dark.

Flash

Wow! At a blink of an eye, I'm reaching my 4th week of my holiday.

Time really passed too fast. Come to think of it, results will be out soon *glup*, my Industrial attachment will be commencing too. I would be sitting for my french exam too.

Gosh! 4th week must be quite busy! AND CHRISTMAS IS coming! OMG!
(though I don't celebrate christmas ^^)
It just makes me happy since whole family would have time to gather together during Christmas, since it's a holiday.

I just hope it will be a fine weather on that day! ^^
zhaoru

Glad as I am.

Yes, still remembered that I got to wrong places in the city or Orchard Road?

My friend just pointed out to me that ,
"You lead people in the forest during army days?"
"Now, you need people to lead you in the city areas!"
"lol..."

Well, erhmm... I don't know how to take off from here.
Let's just say that I'm a mountain tortoise.

But then again, I did went out to many places in the city before!
I was always with my family back then.
That's why I always find places familiar BUT I just don't remember the areas' name.

It is shameful to say this, that I lived in the city since young.
And I can only recall a few places that are still there today.

Maybe it's the change that have taken place, or maybe I'm didn't really make an effort to remember my way around the city. Coming to this point, I still have not a mind map of town.

Sometimes I really feel disappointed of myself in this field - street wise.

When I'm with my sister: she walks everywhere, finding her place through shopping centers to another. NEVER do I need to tell her where she is going.

When I'm with Dave and Philip: They do kindly explained to me how to get here, there, and wherever. They showed me around, but suan me a little hehe, but things are all fine.

When I'm with Selly : She tries to lead the way, and I'm consciously reminding myself of the direction and orientations.

And once with Fiona: Practically, just like my sis. "pei fu pei fu"

How do they remember their way!? Often this question is raised upteen times in my head.
As far as I can remember, Dave and Philip seems to have known their way since secondary days...
WHAT am I doing then?! I had no idea, I only know that I played a lot especially in sports.

I am still trying to learn to be more "street wise", but I believe I needed more time than others.
Please if I annoyed you by asking my directions, kindly bear with me for a while.
I don't mean to be irritating, I'm just lost... ^___^;

One day...
Zhaoru

The Reveal!

during lecture

After secondary days, lectures and tutorial classes set in.
We no longer sit in a seat at the same class room through out our 5 hours of school.
We become mobile, moving from lecture theatre to classrooms.

Since then I have easily became adapted to the new school life, thinking it must be more comfortable with air-conditioned lectures and cushioned seats.

I realised the problem of trying to stay awake during lectures, and here is a summary:

1) Clear speaking lecturer, but lack humour.
Solution: Drink coffee, take sweets, get brain thinking.

2)Mummbling speaker, strong ascent
Solution: Pickup whatever I can, laugh at his funny ascent, forget what he said-study yourself.

3) Bad Teacher, monotonous, reading from paper
Solution: Open bag, take out discman or mp3 and start playing, read lecture notes.

4) After lunch lectures
Solution: Sit up straight, lean forward, try to listen as attentive as possible, the last thing you know, you will end up as depicted in the picture above.

5) Chit chatters behind, joking non-stop
Solution: Listen to what they are joking about-if u can't beat them, JOIN them!

Read and forget,
Zhaoru.

pose 2

People said I wear an iron mask during work. And I look stern as a stranger, I might even walk pass my friends without noticing.

My sister told me not to give that "sian" look on the face everyday.
She told me to "open my eyes up" and "smile".
She described me as "staring at people like buay song like that".

Actually, I didn't mean it.

Zhaoru

Somehow

pacing pose

This pose is one of the earlier pictures that I had seen that made me keen to learn how to draw the human figure.

It is found in a certain japanese fashion illustration book which my aunt had bought (now lost).I managed to borrow it from her, and learn the structure for drawing it.

The book is very helpful, it showed photographs on the process how the drawing is done step by step till the finishing (coloring) and the techniques at coloring told in details.

I did not grab the esscence even though I had been trying hard, I knew I lack some knowledge about drawing poses which seem to me that it comes so natural for the artist of the book.

I went off to buy some comics illustration books (How to draw Manga) and learn off from the basics.Yes, the line of center gravity is the key to all drawing, which makes your drawing don't look like floating or awkwardly unbalanced.

Furthermore, I don't like the fashion book skeletal guildlines, they emphasized more on having a V shaped body, while the japanese prefer the OVAL shaped body. I somehow like to have an distorted oval, a V-shaped oval to be exact.

Thus, I combined the knowledge of both and applied them at my drawing. The result was to my liking xept that I must constantly practise it to drill it into my mind.

I am still trying to learn drawing automobiles , it required certain knowledge on the component parts which I not yet had seen. I will soon visit KINOKUNIA to get a book on it! =p

Meantime, I shall draw draw, post post, blog blog, and make myself happy =)
Zhaoru.

A nice day gone.

I was queuing up at the M1 shop at compass point, hoping to get my line cancelled after I had applied a new line weeks ago.

I was watching the tv while doing so, they had the classics of Mr. Bean showing, and I couldn't stop laughing.

It was about a while after being in the line that I noticed that there was this mum with her little daughter, age around 7, chubby, wearing a dress with "mei mei tou" hairstyle, her two large innocent eyes eagerly staring at her mum.

I thought to myself. What a sweet little cute girl! I could tell that her mum was on her way getting her an handphone.

There was a teenager working for M1 , on his hand was a list of handphone numbers available for the customers to choose. He approached the mother and asked her to pick a number she would like to have for her simcard...

The mother knelt down to her daughter asking her to take a look at the list of numbers and asked her whether any number was to her liking or not.

The little girl could understand what task she was appointed to do ---- to select a number!
The mum continued," Go on, pick a good number, easy for you to remember~"
The little girl stood motionless in front of the list, her brain racking in search of a "easy-to-remember" 8 digits number...
Meanwhile, the service man was bending forward with the list, waiting for the daughter to make her decision.

So sweet~! I thought quietly to myself at first.
Her mum prompting her," How about this number, girl? Do you like it?..."
The little girl didn't nod her head, never did she give a sign of consent.

"How about this number?" Her mum pointed at another number.

The influx of customer heated the air in the shop, before I realised I had been queuing for the last 30min, half heartedly watching Mr.Bean and listening to the conversation of the mother and daughter just in front of me.

I folded my arms, my attention was then drawn back to the little girl, whom haven't made up her mind, the service man still at his awkward position waiting for a reply either from the mother or the little girl. My eyebrows frowned. Great! Stalemate!

I was annoyed that the mother had been prompting the little girl for the last half an hour, leaving the service man in a "don't-know-what-to-do" situation. I would have quited if it was me.

If only the mother was to decide on the behalf of her daughter, the simple task would have been done.

Just when I was reprimanding the mother for time wasting in my heart... a voice interupted my thoughts, "Excuse me sir , can I help you?"
Another serviceman offering help when I was in the head of the queue.
"Yes... I wanted to have my old line cancelled." I replied, gladly as the next one going towards the booth would be ME.

"Oh, sir. You CAN'T have your line cancelled here."explained the man, "You have to do it at 4th floor M1 service center there."

His word hit my brain hard, a sudden GUSH of fire about to blow like a time bomb from my mind. "YOUR people told me to take this queue to DO THAT!"

"I'm afraid that's not the case."

ROAR! I wanted to kill the service-girl for telling me that. I walked off from the queue, re-confirming my directions and went upstairs to cancel my old line.
My mood from watching Mr. Bean turned from Happy to Annoyed by the mother and child, then to Killer mode after hearing that. What could have been worse? Thinking to myself.

I ended up carrying a 15kg big box containing a leg massager home, which my sister had bought.

Saddest day,
Zhaoru.

Birthday card for my lab partner.

Actually, I just known her this year when she became my lab partner.
She had been quiet, and student-ly... till I found out that she is quite crappy! haha!

I bought her chocolates and prepared a card for her.
This card's drawing came from the idea that strucked me when I wanted to make the card "cute"!
(I'm sorry there is no picture of the card)

After completing the card, my sister commented, "Aiyo! so childish, you still do these things!?"

My brother said," Stupid! I think it look simply stupid!"

The result was a satisfying one for me, THAT's WHAT I wanted it to be- simple, cute, cartoony, and expressively-stupid!

Coloured with colour pencils, I made it looked like a child's work with a delibrate child-like finish.

Took me 5days to gather the material, draft out the picture, draw it and colouring it. Even though it looked simple, for me, it's quite tough to "express" with simple expressions.
(Don't know what I'm talking about? Forget it! lol)

I'm glad she likes it, my effort wasn't in vain.

Stay happy! Even though you're a year older! wahahha!
zhaoru.

What my friend said...

" You haven't been blogging already, is it?"

I replied, surprised, " Well, after my exam, I did start to blog again!"

" Oh, it had been long since I logged in to the Net."

^o^ baka!

For remembering of your remark,
zhaoru.

Pool today

Today a friend of mine (senior) asked me out to play pool with him.
Most unusual of him to "jio" me out for a game of pool ever since I showed him my skill with a cue.

Indeed, it turned out that something troubled him, made him sad, said he.
He wanted to "wreck" the balls, claimed he.

However, things did not turn out the way he wanted, I hardly gave him a chance at wrecking the ball...
Even though Im rusty in pool after not being in touched with it for quite some time, I can tell from the way he was playing that I'm going to win .
I can see he's distracted, not being able to concentrate, his shot was headless, aiming at an obvious pot without hitting it in.

For me, I played my best, along the way, prompting him to tell off his unhappiness, hoping to brighten him up a bit.

The score went 6-3 in the end of one and the half hour session of pool with him.
After the game, he told me, "I feel a bit happy now after playing with you."

His sentence certainly did not make much sense to me. But I'm still glad that he is stepping out from the sadness he arrived with.

Certainly, I hope for the best for him, to clear his troubles soon and smile again.
He had always been a cheerful guy since I known him.

with regards,
zhaoru.

The french.

While I was telling my friend that I am taking french classes during my inter-sem break. He questioned my sanity in doing that.

I replied with a smug that "french is an useful language" as quoted from my sister. He said I am wrong. And pointed out that the french are lazy people...

I thought it is just his crap when he said that, until today, I couldn't disagree anymore.

My french tutor actually told us (the class) that in France, the French prefered to study than working, due to the fact that life would be much easier, less stress, more leisure etc.

And they can study any type of topics under the sun in Paris university. She said they don't need to pay that much sum of money to get into University, only about 200 franc...in the past.

The people studied what they are interested then they start to learn the required knowledge for work. Then they went to work.

Suddenly what she had spoken coincides with the comment made by my friend which lingered in my mind. If DNA between a monkey and human is about 90%, then the fact must be 99% true.

Just a thought,
Zhaoru.

Today french class...

The background:
It had been three days of french classes since Monday of this week.
Usually, I'm having classes only at Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

The crisis:
We had to memorise our lines for a play today, in addition, a dictation was going to be carried out too.

The problem:
Though I was notified on Tuesday, I spent the whole of tuesday (after class) playing gunbound.
I still remember I took my last finishing shot at late 3am, half asleep.

So I did my preparations for dictation before I sleep, practically, I scanned through the words we learnt and by feint mean, encoded into my memory of their spellings.

I didn't had time to prepare for my play. I didn't even have time to revise through what I had read last night. For a moment, I thought that my discipline was once again becoming chaotic.

I allocated the time during travelling reading "Angels&Demons" by Dan Brown, which I just picked up on Monday.

The solution:
Thus I ended up in school, knowing that the dictation will commence at the start of class, and hoping that the play will be in the afternoon session, after lunch. This I thought, would provide me ample amount of time to memorise my lines well.

Class started, I didn't show a least bit worry about my dictation because I was pretty sure that last night flipped through was still imprinted somewhere in my memory. Dictation started, Nightmare in the broad day light.

I forgot the essense in french lies in listening and dechiphering what was spoken. I have always been a bad listener, and I was a bad listener at French. True enough, I got three lines marked out.

The Bad News:
Second headshot on me after the dictation!
I sensed panick upon hearing from my french tutor "Get ready for your play."
I did some impromptu drill; took out my script, tell myself I need to put them into my mind ASAP.


Fortunately, the play goes clockwise group by group. I was in the 4th out of 6groups.
I calmed my nerves and rewrote my lines on a fresh piece of paper. As I copied, I could hear myself mumbling french hoping my brain register voice authentications.
After the first 2 groups, I inserted a few more lines for myself, basically, I didn't like to make my life harder, but it was necessary.

So my life was harder after about 15minutes or so, stepping out of my seat, reminding myself to speak proper french and not to be overly excited.
I was able to pull out 80% of what I had remembered, the rest was up to my instinctive response and hints from my group.

After our play, I heard my tutor saying "..cheow joo.. you should be a host...", she also did correct my pronounciation mistakes and a few structural mistakes in my lines.

The moral of the story...
I was surprised at her remark, but most importantly, I lived through the 5minutes play!
I am not good at memorising stuffs especially foreign stuffs at last minute. It is concluded by a fact that I faltered whenever I do that.

Hopefully, I don't need to do this again.
Zhaoru.

PS: I had just finished reading the book, it holds a great conspiracy and twist on finding out the conspirator! READ IT TODAY!

Perfectionism

Some actions of my past often refered me as a perfectionist.
I would put it in a diffiferent way that I had a strong will to win -- in anything.

I have sought to do things at my best and even to perfection!
Until now, I will humbly say that none of which had been perfected.

However, all of which I would like to perfect had one thing in common, my Interests.

I guess all things in life that we indulged in and do, begin with our interest.
And striving for perfection made a person stronger at will, more zest and certainly a bit more ego.

Thus I joked a lot with anti-egoistic phrase such as "MCP" male chauvinist pig, instead of keeping my least bit of ego at its minimum, I exagerated it and made myself a fool out of it.
It sounds ironic isn't it? If a person has too much ego of himself, he wouldn't have spoilt the image of his that stupidly.

Well, I think that it placed a perfect constraint on the growth of my ego. =p

Perfection has its bad side too. Being first one of the perfectionist wannabe, I wondered sometimes why people detested perfectionist. It always seems to me that striving to perfect something is something perfectly natural.

But now, after dropping the idea of perfectionism, I sometimes can be quite annoyed or irritated by people embracing perfectonism. It is something like we debate over I.Q or E.Q is more important.

I think we can easily differentiate people with a mindsets of perfection from the way they speak and do, what they intend to achieve.
AND of those I got irritated by, were those who speak with an arrogant tone, or more often of not, leaving me an impression of being hyprocritic.
I'm not really sure that I have branded these 'crooks' as bad perfectionists is right or not, least it appealed to me in that way.

I hope that people can changed for the better, not for the worse.
Zhaoru.