Oh Mine: August 2005

Just a thought..

"Knowledge is only secondary, Adaptability is the key in the working society."

Forgive my straight-mindedness...

I realised that since the past, I had always made my choice, my decision, and then proceed on.
Come to think of it, when my friends called me "robotcop!" or "robot" , they weren't wrong to a certain extent.

Having the command 'stop', I will stop; 'start' and I will start. Things differed because I'm still human, and this commands were issued only by me and me alone.
This leads me back to decision making; when I made up my mind, the path is built. Unshakingly, I will walk in my path. Undoubtly, I won't be concerned with people who are not in my path.

If ever there is a boundary between every opposition, left or right, good or bad, yes or no...
I will never be in the middle.

But that doesn't mean I will not go from yes to no, or vice versa, it just means that there is no 'maybe'.
Can feelings be manipulated the same way as my principles?
zhaoru.

troubled days

I feel troubled these days...

It seems like I had lost my little objectives which I had always set for myself and work towards them. My mind would be tuned to working towards these targets and become so busy that I wouldn't have time for other considerations.

But recently, it turned out that I might be losing my direction... striving for better grades? maintaining friendship? etc
For a moment, I can feel my mind feeling saturated and going to explode in any seconds. This is serious in the history of my studying campaign! I had never had headaches while schooling. Even the most detested subject I will squeeze it into my head before going into examination hall with no headache rated that serious than this current one. (RATING 9 out of 10)

The only solution to me seems to be the legendary YOGA style of control breathing technique, which brings me yet to another problem-- I had never learn yoga!
So seriously, not intending to attempt any invasive methods to cure this headache of mine, I choose to sleep more and rest...

I'm finding the light that guides me in my heart and soul,
zhaoru.

Today I lied...

Today was my first tutorial session for the subject Human Resource Management.
We were told to prepare some interviewees answer and while in class, we were to share the experiences at acquiring the opportunities to interview senior managers.

Inevitably, I lied my way through, and I would say almost flawlessly. Ahh... I felt bad about it, but I think I'm being unscrupulous to do that just to get my job done.

Seriously, I'm reflecting upon my action.
Maybe I need somebody to just scold me, reprimand me... and I might feel a bit better.
zhaoru.

Entering a new world...

I'm tired of revisiting the Past...
It seems to be a never ending circle which will keep me walking in a round about.
Good memories I will keep, and I hope the rest will just make me a better man.
I had decided to dwell out of it, it is no longer a world I should ever step in.

I am very easily distracted in the World of 'emotions'. I have no clues when it comes to finding the girl that I like. I think I have been a fortunate fool to get to know some of the nice girls around. Sadly, I think I had to disappoint them with all my shortcomings. And things will never be the same ever again... If I could have another chance, I will like to be just a happy foolish friend of theirs.

World of "studies", well this had never been a world of mine, I chosen this road in the beginning as I was told to, and now, I was near the end of this road, exiting to another junction of my life.
I'm not complaining, instead, I'm as glad as where I am today. Maybe that was why I don't look like to be a happy man, but rather, I'm a contented fool. I think I will still not choose to step into this world.

The world of 'work' seems to be the last of all world till the end of our life. It is kind of like a forseen future for everyone, if not, for most of us. I don't believe in working and working, improving our luxuries in life to become a more happier idiot. Success in career is important, but not when I compared to life... I belonged to another world, not this...

This world seems to be for fools like me, but how I wish it were to exist, it seems to be a legendary world for all the existing worlds. People yearn for it, yet unable to put a step into this world... I am also queuing up to enter this legendary world, but hopefully I'm not at the back of the line. If u think this is the world of 'death', it is not. But this world could be quite easily mistaken to be related with the word 'death', that is "freedom". Death is not the solution for any complex matters because it is not the route to the world of freedom, often mistakened.

Where is this world which I longed for...?
Or I'm still tied to one of the worlds... ...